Doubt

While in Jerome at the gallery yesterday I was overwhelmed with feelings of insecurity and wonder regarding if I was on the right path, if I was doing the right thing "trying to be an artist". Everyone was selling so much more work than me, succeeding so much more than me. I felt depressed and wondered what is it going to take? What is this secret formula I seem unable of possessing?

Why doesn't everyone like me??? Notice I said me and not my work. Why are we so hard on ourselves and seemingly ready at a moments notice to throw ourselves under the bus? Why is it so hard to believe in ourselves?







This kind of thinking and wallowing doesn't happen to me that often so I think I take it particularly hard when it does. Today of course was a different story. I went outside with my coffee and looked at the beautiful blue sky and marveled at how nice it was without 50 mph winds and thought; okay- what's the plan?

The nature of creativity alone is a topic, but once you add pricing, selling and the "audience factor" you can really screw yourself up. I reminded myself of one of my favorite quotes on the subject- "Through the work comes the work." In other words, get busy.
This is your job. Just make it. The rest will sort itself out.



Please check out this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat, Pray, Love. It's very inspiring, but it's about 20 minutes so be ready to sit down and contemplate.

Where I'm From

So, how was the trip? Well, it is always a mixed bag; depressed areas, old people getting older, Wal-Martization of the ma and pops...(in this case even Bashas is like a mom and pop compared to wal-mart)...




Also, open country, amazing sky, and an abundance of what I started referring to as
" Quality Rust".





We got to see family members on both sides who are making it, suffering, struggling, juggling, retiring, ....hoping, just as we all are everywhere.





We saw old cars everywhere, various piles of piles promising some rarely needed but indispensable tool. Who has saved all this junk? And who will eventually have to deal with it?






And then, after our rounds were made, our commitments satisfactorily taken care of, we saw our other reason for coming; our sense of strife and any sort of worry lifting as we turned the corner, to the "end of the road" and made it , back again, traveling six hours to get here...
to the river.

Perfect Weather for

Southern rock, a cold beer, a road trip.....

Oh yes, the road is calling. Matthew and I are such

jet setters that you will find us heading to Eastern,

Arizona this Friday. Specifically Duncan, Safford

and Clifton. And the River.

Must make it to some running water to at least say

Hello.








I am excited to be getting out of

town at all. See some new sights, visit

old haunts, see our family and bask in

the sunshine.

I will see you all next week with new awesomeness

and fancy photos from another side of our state.

Cheers!

After hitting the wall on Saturday and not being able to make it to Sadie's fabulous party, I did accomplish some Sunday stuff. We raked some leaves and went up to Granite Basin, as you can see from these new photos.








It was a gorgeous day, not too windy and we got to feel cool in the Old Truck.










The week ahead is busy.. Spring Break for lots of folks. Should have new goodies to show shortly.


I am re-reading the first Richard Grant book, "American Nomads". It's so good, but it's one of those books where I know I've read it yet, if so, how am I not remembering all this awesome stuff? Good nightly history lessons!

Weekly Wrapup

The week has flown by as usual, but I will say it was productive and hopefully the weekend will be as well. Matthew and I actually have a day off together on Sunday and we will be going on a drive in the New Truck. A drawing to share that I made yesterday.






Also, I have joined Facebook finally so everyone can relax! Have a great weekend!

Wednesday..... oh really??

Full moon? Oh yes. For those of you well versed in "Moonstruck" that was Cosmo's Moon...!

So some new experiments with wood burning to share.


These are fun because after working with so much linoleum and carving I am craving something LOOSE and free. I also am enjoying getting back into having words along with the imagery. For many years I couldn't make a piece of art with out Words on it!



I also seem to have some paint and big brushes rolling around in my head. We shall see!

Evolution

Otherwise known as...."what next?" I thought that i would be blogging about how I got into the Arts Prescott Cooperative Gallery because I had my interview on Friday. However, I didn't get in...perhaps something about counting your chickens before they hatch??? So now it's beck to What Next, back to doing the work, back to the next Now as my mom would say.

It's fine overall, I had been fairly stressed about the financial commitment this would have entailed, so as they say Que Sera, Sera.


In other news, there's a new baby in our family that made it safe and sound who's awesome! Welcome Jackson!






A poem to share...




the manzanita is blooming
and suddenly
i am seven building forts
i am seventeen building angst
i am thirty-two building
beginnings, bones, books
and bread.
the manzanita is blooming
blink and you'll miss it.
year in and year out
this memory retains
this memory remains
year in and year out
the manzanita helps me remember.
suddenly.




My goal for the week is to do some new drawings and to apply to a show/grant/etc. Yeah!

Trucks and Technology

An old truck for Matthew,

crazy etsy,camera,blogging,picnik,downloading,tagging, photographing, etc....
for me.

But, I'll tell you- I love rust.

More newsworthy artsy things coming soon! Oh yeah, and a shout out to Sadie for helping a girl out with the aforementioned technology!!